How to Be a Terrible Christian in 9 Easy Steps

So you want to be a horrible Christian? You've come to the right place!

Photo by Kyknoord (CC)

Here's how:

  1. Only read the parts of the Bible that you like and agree with. Skip the rest.
  2. Pray to God only when you need something. He loves that.
  3. Gossip a lot.
  4. Give only when you feel like it (and make people aware of your generosity on Facebook).
  5. Have a perpetually pessimistic outlook.
  6. Make up a bunch of silly rules that aren't in the Bible, then use those rules to justify yourself and judge others.
  7. Ask yourself what your church can do for you, not what you can do for the church. If it's not providing that, leave and find another.
  8. Wait a long time to forgive your brother, and make sure you remind him what he did every time you see him.
  9. Don't bother to tell anyone about Christ. (Wouldn't matter anyway. Your actions already did.)

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